Osterman!!!

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 09:04:02 GMT

Its fucking scary out there. Unofficial unemployment is around 17%. I'm graduating in a year and a half so I can intern for free. Maybe our generation isn't meant to be idealistic. I'm going to have no health insurance and no job. I'm terrified.

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:09:11 GMT

I've accidently have thrown my body into an unhealthy biorhythm and now it sleeps in 3 hour spurts (if its lucky).

However, being up this early has allowed me to reflect on some of my actions and try to work out my schedule for next semester.

I realize, that I could graduate this semester, after only 2 1/2 (the half being next semester) years of school. However, I have a whole other major to do, like, the one with importance and not bullshit.

Anyway, I got this wacked out schedule planned that leaves me in the city on Mondays for 6 hours doing nothing. I guess this is okay, but I have a horrible feeling that I will regret this decision in the coming months. I'm trying to go to school only two days a week, and have one of those days be when newspaper meets, Wednesday. I'm attempting to look at it nicely and think "hey, a time to ____"(work out! do work! eat!), but I'm not really fooling myself. I waste a lot of time figuring out something to do.

Also, I am rereading a lot of my entries, and I'm really disappointed and kind of embarrassed. I'm always writing that I am "afraid" of losing the person that I'm romantically involved with. I can't deny that I feel that emotion, but its kind of alarming that I think that I'm always going to be left behind or damaged in some aspect. I let myself fall into that "weak woman" mold. I never consider the other possibilities.

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 05:51:54 GMT

It's been a while but there has been nothing much to write about. School is going fine, personal life is alright, still living in Ridgewood. I'm moving home in about two months, the shit is too expensive, I'm leeching too much and I got that guilty conscience. In time I am relatively certain I will move again but my current job is paying me only 70 bucks a week and no one has responded to my applications. Home it is.

I have literally no friends at school. I'm pretty much all alone, but this has allowed me to figure out who really wants to chill with me and who is just blowing smoke up my ass. Its kind of irritating that I actually have to do that, but whatever, lessons learned. George attributes it to my near constant negativity, which I think is a possibility. I'm just not sure how to fix it.

I have also have this incredible fear of losing George because of this. I'm concerned about the age difference, which is only three years, however he has a full-time semi-adult job and I'm 20 with a 8-9 hour a week job and barely a junior. I'm afraid that the age issue, coupled with my bitter attitude toward CUNY and like, "lyfe" would bore him and destroy our relationship. Wah wah.

Thu, 08 May 2008 11:07:11 GMT

As soon as 4 pm comes around, I will be in the throes of a deep sleep, enjoying the last few days of perfect temperature as I lay in my dirty bed. As soon as I am rested, I will get up and do my laundry. Then I will start on HTML. Maybe clean my filthy room.
I'm sorry, I'm so tired.

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 04:53:08 GMT

OH COME OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 07:00:26 GMT

You win, World.

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 23:14:49 GMT

My mom just compared me to Aladdin.

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 16:44:05 GMT

Did last night happen? Because I'm pretty sure this morning did.

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 22:08:27 GMT

Well, whatever.

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 16:23:45 GMT

Yikes!

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 00:13:36 GMT

WOOOO HOOO. If i had pajamas I would want them to be made out of waaatermelon. I wish i had shoes that squeaked the news. I love pineapples.

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 20:09:34 GMT

How can I breathe when I know people are so stupid.

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 05:41:04 GMT

No fun.

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 17:26:49 GMT

Im pretty cool, I like things. My name is awesome sauce. Lets all have fun with our hum doodlers and baskin' robins. Banana fool time casper!

Lets go to fun station!

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 14:23:15 GMT

Today, I hate everything.

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 04:12:35 GMT

KRILL SPILL

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 21:01:43 GMT

yo like, everybody hates sylvia plath.